Questionable Sex Advice for Newlyweds, 1786

“A NEW SONG, For a Wedding Night.

How is that welcome night,
When love and beauty make a feast
Let not the Bridegroom be afraid
Tho’ he encounters with a Maid:
She’ll squeak, she’ll cry,
She’ll faint, she’ll die,
She’ll then begin to tremble:
But take her, and rouze her,
And mouze her, and rouze her,
You’ll find she doth dissemble.

Now mistress Bride, thus much to you,
The item I shall give is true:
Young Maidens must not be too coy,
To entertain their wish’d-for joy,
But take him and hug him,
And tug him and lug him,
For thus true love is try’d,
Not be nice in yielding,
But loving and willing,
To grant what must not be deny’d.”

– From The New School of Love, 1786