Many a hopeful suitor has been disappointed because he falls short of his beloved’s ridiculously high expectations. For anyone who has experienced such a heart-breaking rebuff, why not follow this seventeenth-century advice for how to bring her down a peg or two?
1) Tell her she is not as attractive as she thinks.
2) Cast aspersions on her skills in the bedroom.
3) Reiterate that no matter how fine her clothes, they’re not going to make up for the state of her face.
Armed with this, you can’t fail! Good luck, dear readers. As ever, do let me know how it goes.
Directed to a Mayd, or Widow, more proud than proper, and more coy than comely.
Faire Lady, methinks you are not Mistresse of so much beauty as might make you proud; a Gentlewoman of ginger-bread (for ought I know) may make a better Bedfellow; what are good cloaths whent he face is wanting, but like small beer in a silver goblet; a meer Mercer’s Lucifer, but not a Rag of Natures Wardrobe about you.”
– Text from The Academy of Pleasure (1652).
– Image: detail from ‘A Lady at Confession’ (late c17th)
Assuming you’re sick and tired of her, this might work. If not – think again!
Hrm, I wonder if that would work on a vain, self-centered co-worker… 8-/
What a pity this comes but some 55 years too late for me, ahhh if I’d only known; sighs weeps and departs 😦
Ha! This reminds me of the “dating advice” book “The Game”.
Typical man thats all I can say, dare say he smells, never washes his clothes or himself, if she is stuck-up drop her, easy
There were women with Wellingtons army who arrived first and had the billy can boiling for their hubbies on arrival
Reblogged this on VINTAGE STUDENT.